Today we went to the OB GYN for the first time. I called as soon as we got the IUD taken out and made an appointment for a pre-pregnancy check-up. I wanted to get in with my preferred provider and start establishing a relationship. Also, I had a few questions. Like whether I needed to purchase a plastic bubble in which to seal myself until the completion of my hypothetical pregnancy, so as to protect myself and my prospective offspring from the toxins mentioned in the packets Planned Parenthood gave me*.
The lady on the phone said that the first visit would just be with Dr. W's nurse, and that we would see Dr. W on a subsequent visit.
T and I arrived at the OB GYN group's office at 11am. Before going in, we snapped a self-take of ourselves in front of the building. For the Pre-pregnancy Scrapbook. We'll paste it next to a lifelike replica of my IUD.
We went inside and I filled out a health history form. It was much, much less comprehensive than the one at Planned Parenthood. Not only did they ask me about fewer physical diseases, but they didn't ask which genders of people I or my partner was having intercourse with. They didn't even ask me which gender I self-identified as. It's like they didn't even care.
They did, however, request a little cup of my pee. Planned Parenthood hadn't wanted any pee; maybe these people were interested in my health after all. The office lady said they would be taking pee on every visit. They probably do that to all the pregnant women so they can distill out the HCG and sell it to people on the HCG Diet. If so, I want a cut of all my urine HCG sales. Depending on how much that stuff goes for, we can fund Junior's college education.
After I gave them the wee, T and I were taken to an exam room. Dr. W's nurse came in with a puzzled look on her face.
"So, um, did you take a pregnancy test?" she asked.
"Oh, I'm not pregnant," I said. "We're just here for a pre-pregnancy check-up. I told them that on the phone."
"Oh..." the nurse said. "They put you down as already being pregnant. You'll need to come back and see the doctor for a 'family planning visit.'"
"Ok," I said.
Nevertheless, we took advantage of our time with this knowledgeable OB nurse and asked some of our most pressing questions:
"Can I keep taking antidepressants while I'm pregnant?"
"No, they're really not safe. Some people do stay on them, but it's better not to."
Darn. I was liking those. Oh well. We'll go without and see how I feel.
"What kind of screening do you offer for birth defects and genetic disorders?"
She gave us an informative packet and said the screening would be offered every visit.
And, our most pressing question of all, "I just had a copper IUD removed -- do we really have to wait two or more cycles before we start trying to get pregnant?"
"No. Not at all. You can go ahead and start right away."
"Really? It's really ok? The doctor always tells people it's ok?"
"Yes."
"Nothing bad will happen to the baby because I recently had a copper-plastic doohickey in my uterus?"
"No."
Alright.
We are now officially TTC**.
*Could this just have been a strategic move to further the liberal anti-family agenda? Were they just trying to scare us away from having children? Maybe it's a way to sell abortions: "Oh, your house was built before 1979? Better abort just to be on the safe side...What's that? You don't own a radon detector? You didn't even know there was such a thing?? That's it, I'm getting the fetavac."
**Trying to Conceive. It's a term I learned from my What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect book. I went looking for such a book months ago because I was so excited at the very prospect of getting pregnant. I was stoked to find that just such a book existed. Technically its title is What to Expect Before You're Expecting, but I like my version better.
The lady on the phone said that the first visit would just be with Dr. W's nurse, and that we would see Dr. W on a subsequent visit.
T and I arrived at the OB GYN group's office at 11am. Before going in, we snapped a self-take of ourselves in front of the building. For the Pre-pregnancy Scrapbook. We'll paste it next to a lifelike replica of my IUD.
We went inside and I filled out a health history form. It was much, much less comprehensive than the one at Planned Parenthood. Not only did they ask me about fewer physical diseases, but they didn't ask which genders of people I or my partner was having intercourse with. They didn't even ask me which gender I self-identified as. It's like they didn't even care.
After I gave them the wee, T and I were taken to an exam room. Dr. W's nurse came in with a puzzled look on her face.
"So, um, did you take a pregnancy test?" she asked.
"Oh, I'm not pregnant," I said. "We're just here for a pre-pregnancy check-up. I told them that on the phone."
"Oh..." the nurse said. "They put you down as already being pregnant. You'll need to come back and see the doctor for a 'family planning visit.'"
"Ok," I said.
Nevertheless, we took advantage of our time with this knowledgeable OB nurse and asked some of our most pressing questions:
"Can I keep taking antidepressants while I'm pregnant?"
"No, they're really not safe. Some people do stay on them, but it's better not to."
Darn. I was liking those. Oh well. We'll go without and see how I feel.
"What kind of screening do you offer for birth defects and genetic disorders?"
She gave us an informative packet and said the screening would be offered every visit.
And, our most pressing question of all, "I just had a copper IUD removed -- do we really have to wait two or more cycles before we start trying to get pregnant?"
"No. Not at all. You can go ahead and start right away."
"Really? It's really ok? The doctor always tells people it's ok?"
"Yes."
"Nothing bad will happen to the baby because I recently had a copper-plastic doohickey in my uterus?"
"No."
Alright.
We are now officially TTC**.
*Could this just have been a strategic move to further the liberal anti-family agenda? Were they just trying to scare us away from having children? Maybe it's a way to sell abortions: "Oh, your house was built before 1979? Better abort just to be on the safe side...What's that? You don't own a radon detector? You didn't even know there was such a thing?? That's it, I'm getting the fetavac."
**Trying to Conceive. It's a term I learned from my What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect book. I went looking for such a book months ago because I was so excited at the very prospect of getting pregnant. I was stoked to find that just such a book existed. Technically its title is What to Expect Before You're Expecting, but I like my version better.
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